|worst hero ever|
Worst Hero Ever
Chapter One: The Beginning
In a place far away we join our hero sitting on his couch. The narrator in my head screaming at me, "You're supposed to save the princess! Now go do some saving!"
Hero: I have to go to my job.
Narrator: Your job is to save people.
Hero: That sounds dangerous. I have better things to do.
Narrator: That's a lie. The only thing you do is sit around and watch TV.
Hero: I also play video games and sell boxes.
Narrator: I don't care. Hold my hand so I can teleport you to the castle.
Narrator: The hero enters the castle not caring if he lives or dies. He only wants to save the princess and defeat the dragon.
Hero: No I don't want to save the princess or kill the dragon. She could be ugly or worse be a man.
Narrator: Assume she's hot and not a man. Now go fight the dragon!
Hero: What?! There is a dragon? You didn't tell me that!
Narrator: Yes I did. Twice as a matter of fact.
Hero: Hey! Where's the dragon? It's gone!
Narrator: What do you mean there's no dragon?
Hero: Wait. I found a note.
Dear hero, I have saved myself. I'm using the dragon to attack my own castle for hiring the worst hero ever. Ps. there is pie in the box. Love Princess Peach
Hero: Does that mean I have to stop the princess now?
Narrator: Yes it does. Now lets go.
Hero: Ok, but I'm eating pie first. I wouldn't want to die on an empty stomach. Oooh yumm, it's cherry!